My Favorite Frugal Gift

My grandmother is 95 years old, and she lives in an assisted living facility several hours away (though in the same town as one of her children). We've always seen each other several times a year - usually Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, and more recently, her birthday. And, it's been becoming more and more difficult to find her gifts that I know she'll use. Everyone buys her candy - and lots of it. In fact, I'm sure she has stacks and stacks of truffles, creams, bon bons, confections and chocolates of never-ending variety piled in every corner. Clothing is much the same way. There's only so much she can wear, and I know she's better stocked than her dresser drawers allow. Lotions and perfumes and such are getting more and more difficult for her shaking hands to apply. And, there's certainly no need for knick knacks and whatnots in her small assisted living "apartment."

What's left? Well, for her last birthday, I bought her a beautiful diffuser from work (a glass jar filled with fragrant oil and bamboo sticks, which draw the oil up and release the scent into the air). And, these were a special sort of bamboo sticks that don't have to be turned at all, as the usual sticks do. How easy, I thought. For months, it will give her bathroom or living area a beautiful smell that only has to be set up once and never touched again. Well, she hasn't opened it, as far as I know. She told me during Thanksgiving that she loves it so much, but hasn't set it up. Of course, I'd imagine setting it up for the first time would be daunting, so I asked my father to set it up for her when he visits next. Still, I had been quite proud of my diffuser gift victory, thinking it was the perfect present for her. But, it wasn't.

So, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I had time to rethink my gifting.... And what did I come up with? Well, somewhere along the way, I read about a woman who gave a stack of cards to a loved one, then took them back, telling the person that they'd mail them one a week. How many times has my grandmother told me how much she loves to receive letters from me? (Oh, dozens. Every time I saw her for years, it seems.) And how slow have I been in sending her any? (Far, far too slow.)

So, I visited my favorite thrift store where all the greeting cards (and, for some reason, they seem to have many, many hundreds) are only $.05. I picked out an assortment of 52 (all different) - one for each week of the year - and tied them with a beautiful, almost iridescent, green bow. Then, I set them inside a lovely little blue padded box from a set of Impressionist notecards I received as a gift years ago and closed the lid. I decided I could take the cards back with me and leave her the box to put them in as they arrive. It was a gorgeous presentation.

But, of course, we all came down with terrible, hacking colds on Christmas Eve, and I wasn't able to see her for Christmas. I wish I could have been the one to explain the gift to her, but instead, my father brought her only the empty box (he was afraid he'd forget to bring back the cards, themselves). So much for the presentation.

Still, though, I feel I've finally chosen the right gift - after all these years. Each Monday at K's homeschool game day, I pull out a card (I've labeled and stamped each envelope in advance), write it while I wait for him, and pop it in the mailbox just outside.

At 95, this is what my grandmother wants - not more candy or clothes, not lotion or perfume, not even the beautiful smelling diffuser. She wants family and closeness. And I've known this for years but haven't done much about it. So, really, this was a gift to myself, as well. Not only does it keep me in touch with my grandmother, whom I adore, but it also keeps me from feeling guilty for not calling often enough, not writing often enough.... I feel better about this gift than about any I've ever given, I think. And, I hope she enjoys receiving each of the cards as much as I enjoy writing them. I think she just might.